Moving from Proving to Proud
I’ve always lived by a simple motto: No regrets. Don’t leave anything unsaid. Don’t hold grudges.
It sounds like a nice sentiment you’d see on a fridge magnet, but for me, it’s a philosophy forged in the hardest moment of my life. Nine years ago, I went through the sudden passing of an ex-girlfriend.
There were no proper goodbyes. There were rough edges left unsmoothed. At 21, I didn’t have the support system to handle that kind of vulnerability, and I certainly didn’t deal with it “properly” at the time. But in hindsight, that pain made me the man I am today. As I always say: The harder the experience you go through, the more valuable the lesson on the other side.
The “Acceptance” Trap
Like most people, I spent my late teens and early twenties trying to prove myself to people I didn’t even care about. It’s the great human irony: we evolve from tribes, so we are hard-wired to want acceptance. We do things we think will make us liked by others. I was no different. I struggled with bullying and tried desperately to “fit in.”
But at 23, I hit a wall. I looked at my life and realised I wasn’t proud of a single thing I was doing. I wasn’t proud of the person I was becoming.
That realisation is the start of the “Awareness” stage in the Game Plan. You have to wake up to the fact that you’re living someone else’s life before you can start living your own.
From “Mercy” to “Mastery”
If you rely on other people to give you satisfaction, purpose, and fulfillment, you will always be at the mercy of their opinions. You will always be a passenger in your own life.
I decided that I would live my life in a way that made me proud. Not in a way that hurts others, but in a way that allows me to reflect at any moment and be happy with the man in the mirror. When you switch from “Proving” to “Proud,” you don’t just benefit yourself, you become a better person for everyone around you. This is the foundational work we do in Success Unlocked.
A Message for the Next Generation
If I had to distill what someone’s life’s purpose is into one sentence for my kids one day, it would be this:
Find what you love and chase it with everything you’ve got.
Working as a teacher, I see it every day. Kids are absolute dreamers. They think the world is theirs. They believe that if they reach for the stars, they’ll eventually grab one. But somewhere along the way, society beats that out of them. They lose their curiosity. They start to play it safe.
My message is simple: Stay silly. Stay fun. Stay curious. Always ask the question. Always reach for more. One day, you’ll reach a point that everyone else thought was impossible and they’ll be the ones asking you how you did it.
